Infinity War: Aftershock
by Iphigenie
Summary: INFINITY WAR SPOILER! Oneshots about how the Avengers deal with the traumatic events in Infinity War. Loki/Thor, Tony/Steve
1. The Story of Two Brothers

„The Tesseract, or your brother`s head. I assume you have a preference?" Thanos' voice was cold, without a trace of emotion yet Loki imagined hearing the scorn in his words. It amused the Titan to see Loki for the first time in his long life completely defenceless. The Trickster was standing with his back against the wall, but Loki would be damned if he would give Thanos the satisfaction of letting him see how utterly helpless he felt right now. Loki was scared but he still had enough magic in him not to let the Titan know that.

"Oh, I do", Loki replied, his voice casual, almost bored. He was proud of the sarcastic undertone he managed to put in his words. Out of the corner of his eyes Loki noticed Thor raising his head. He avoided eye contact with his brother. Loki feared what he might see in the other man's face and he could not afford a lapse in concentration, not now. He lifted his chin, avoiding the stare of his brother as he looked directly at Thanos and tried to make his voice sound as cold as possible. "Kill away."

Thor did not get a chance to react. He felt steel hands around his head, crushing it as if his head would be nothing more than a ripe fruit. The Asgardian's mouth twisted into a scream as pain ripped through him so intense it left nothing but blackness. He was blinded, bewildered by the torture as the hands closed tighter around his head in a merciless, deadly grip. „Thanos must not get the Tesseract", was the only clear thought Thor managed. "Loki is a talented liar, he always has been. That is his nature, lies and tricks." Thor had stopped a long time ago to find any sense in his little brother's erratic behaviour. He had accepted that the only constant in Loki's nature was his mischievous character. All Thor could do now in the midst of all the pain was to hope that Loki's tricks and magic would be enough to prevent the Tesseract from falling into the hands of Thanos.

"It is for the best", he thought, even if Loki would pay with the life of his brother.

The King of Asgard felt his strength weaken as the hands around his head slowly and painfully squeezed the life out of him. Thor knew he would not be able to hold on much longer.

"All right, stop!" Loki's cry cut through Thor's screams. He would never know that Loki had not intended to stop Thanos. Loki had lived his life in the shadow of his brother's greatness. Long ago he accepted that his place would always be behind Thor until fate had given him a chance to try and get rid of his brother by bringing the frost giants to Asgard. Thor represented everything Loki hated. He was arrogant, reckless and yet all belonged to him, the heir to the throne of Asgard. Odin only concerned himself with his first born son and left it to Frigga to give Loki the love and education he so craved from his father and brother. So Loki learned to hate them. Odin for feeding him lies his entire life, for keeping his true heritage from him and Thor for getting everything Loki ever wanted. There was a time when he could have killed Thor with his bare hands. It was ironic that now, at the end of all things, it was Thor's pain that cut through Loki's armour of indifference. To watch his brother suffer made Loki drop his poker face despite himself. It was in that moment that the Trickster realised he had made the probably biggest mistake of his long life. For so long he had convinced himself he only felt hatred for his brother. He still remembered Frigga's last words to him. "Always so perceptive. About everyone but yourself." Loki did not believe her. He had not wanted to admit that his mother was right, not even to himself. But now, he could no longer deny that he loved his brother. Even if this meant that they would both die today.

Thor tried to keep himself upright with all the strength he still had left, when Loki's voice cut through the pain. The pressure on his head lessened. In a mixture of relief and surprise, Thor looked up. What he saw made him forget the agony he had felt only a moment ago. Loki was crying. His little brother, who had been taught long ago that crying was a sign of weakness that led to bullying was crying in front of his enemies. Thor's protective instincts started to awaken and almost gave him enough strength to fight back. Almost.

"Give me the Tesseract!" Thanos demanded once more. This time it was Thor who answered. "We don't have the Tesseract", he replied. "It was destroyed on Asgard." He looked at Loki for a sign of confirmation.

" _It was destroyed, right?"_ Thor prayed that he had told Thanos the truth.

Loki shortly locked eyes with his brother. There was desperation in his eyes and a silent plea, as if the Trickster would be asking Thor for his forgiveness. Thor knew what this look meant. All hope he had held faded as the older Asgardian watched Loki slowly raise his hand. He avoided Thor's eyes, too ashamed to look at his brother. "I am sorry", Loki wanted to tell him. "I am so, so sorry." This was his fault. All Loki could do now was to let the Tesseract appear in his hand, blue and cold as Thor looked on, utterly speech- and helpless.

"You really are the worst brother!" Thor uttered through clenched teeth.

Loki did not flinch. He deserved that harsh reply. He would never know that his comment would haunt Thor for the rest of his life and he would never learn how much Thor would regret his words to Loki on that fateful day. The light of the Tesseract lit up Loki's face, highlighting the injuries he had received, the cracked lips, the dirt and the dried blood on his forehead. Thor's heart contracted painfully as the light fell on Loki's eyes. His lashes were glistening with tears and in the depth of his eyes there was guilt mixed with a terror that Thor had never before seen in the face of his brother.

Loki kept his gaze on Thor as he slowly advanced towards Thanos, the Tesseract n his outstretched hand. "I promise you brother", he said, his voice shaking but determined. "The sun will shine us again" Thor would think about these last words for many weeks and months. He was desperate to believe Loki. Only later did he realise that his words were meant to comfort him. Loki's comment was his attempt to keep up Thor's courage and to give him new hope and purpose. Loki, Thor knew, might have betrayed him and lied to him in the past, but he lived his final moments entirely for his older brother. And it broke Thor's heart when he realised that he would never be able to repay this debt.

Thanos watched the two brothers with disdain. "Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian", he scoffed. Loki's stare moved to the Titan. The corners of his mouth twitched and Thor recognised the familiar smirk lighting up the face of his brother, banishing his terror. If this was to be the end of Loki of Asgard, he would not go without letting Thanos feel his scorn one last time. "For one thing, I am not Asgardian. And for another, we have a Hulk." As if on command, Thor saw a green shadow appearing out of the darkness, as the Hulk threw himself at Thanos with an angry roar. A second later, Thor was free from the hands that had kept him until now and Loki was tackling him out of harm's way. The brothers cowered on the ground, Thor breathless from his pain. Loki crouched over him, one hand clutching Thor's shirt as he watched Hulk and Thanos battle. "He is afraid", Thor thought. Almost instinctively he tried to soothe his little brother "Hulk's got this", he tried to reassure him, but Loki just flinched, wincing as the battle raged.

The fight was over almost as soon as it had begun. Hulk was strong but he could not compete with the power of Thanos. The moment of surprise was lost. Thanos blocked Hulk's attacks as easily as if he would have been fighting of a fly, hitting back viciously, while Hulk was slowly losing his strength. It was hopeless. The Hulk flung himself at Thanos one last time and screamed in pain as the Titan picked him up and held him over his head. Thanos threw Hulk to the ground, where he stayed. Bruce Banner, the Hulk, was defeated.

"No!" Loki hissed. He was pressed against the wall. His eyes were wide and terrified. All his tricks had failed him. There was nothing more he could do. This was it, the one fight he could not talk or magic himself out of. They had lost.

But Thor was not one to go down without a fight, especially not when he had to protect his little brother. "Stay!" he ordered Loki. Thor forced himself to his feet and reached for the nearest weapon-like object – a pole.

Loki immediately knew what his brother planned to do. "No!" he whispered and grabbed for Thor. "No, no, no –" But Loki had never been able to keep the Asgardian Prince from a fight. In a last, desperate attempt to save everyone, Thor slipped from his grasp and ran for Thanos. He hit the Titan with all his might, slamming the pole into his hip. It bended in half from the force of the blow. Thanos hardly reacted. As if the steel had barely brushed his skin.

He turned and looked at Thor in disdain.

 _Oh no._

Before Thor had time to react he was taken by one of Thanos' so called children. He was yanked backwards and forced on his knees. The King of Asgard did not get a chance to defend himself. Pieces of metal twisted around him and held him in place. Thor struggled against his restraints, but the shackles refused to budge even a millimetre. For the first time in his life, Loki felt cold, as if somebody would have poured ice water into his veins. Thor, his strong, indestructible brother, was defeated. What would become of them now? They had no options, no means of escape. This was the end.

All of a sudden a bright and colourful beam of light, like a rainbow, cut through the ship. It took Hulk and carried him away. Thor smiled. He was relieved that at least one of his friends was safe. But his joy was short lived. Thanos turned to Heimdall. He appeared almost disappointed. "You shouldn't have done that", he said, sounding bored. In a single, casual movement, Thor stabbed Heimdall in the heart.

"No!" Thor screamed. Loki stayed pressed against the wall, frozen. "You will pay for that!" Thor rasped. Thanos did not bother to reply. More metal closed around Thor's mouth, gagging him. Trapped and defenceless the brothers could only watch as Ebony Maw picked up the Tesseract and presented it to his master in a disturbing show of submission. Thanos crushed the object with his bare fist and revealed the Infinity Stone within, ready to be added to his collection.

It seemed to be the end of all hope. Loki looked at Thor but his eyes were empty. He was the master of mischief, the person who always had a trick up his sleeves. But now he had run out of ideas.

" _Do not be scared"_ , Thor wanted to tell him. _"No matter what happens here, our people have not died in vain. Heimdall did not sacrifice himself for nothing. Hulk will warn the Earth. They will stop Thanos. He will not win."_

Suddenly Loki was moving. He stepped back into Thanos' view, erect and determined. All sign of fear had vanished from his face, replaced by the familiar cocky expression Loki usually reserved for Thor. _"One more trick, brother"_ , he thought. The Trickster flinched inwardly. What would Thor think of him when all this was over? "I thought the world of you", he had once told Loki. Everything Loki wanted now was to prove to his brother that his faith in him had not been in vain. He would make Thor proud, one last time.

Thor watched him, a protest rising in his throat. His heart was pounding in his chest.

" _This is bad"_ , he thought. _"This is really bad, this is … Loki, do not do anything stupid, do not do anything stupid, do not -"_

"If you're going to Earth, you'll need a guide", Loki said softly.

" _Do anything stupid! Too late, Loki, you moron!"_

"And I do have experience"

"If you consider failure experience", Thanos replied, laughing at the Trickster's failed mission to conquer Earth.

"I consider _experience_ experience", Loki said sharply. He paused for a second, controlling his voice to sound more respectful as he began to slowly and deliberately walk up to Thanos. "I am Loki", he said. The Trickster lowered his gaze, not quite looking at Thor, who was watching him silently. He could not afford to make any mistake now. "Odinson. God of Mischief. Rightful King of Jotunheim. Prince of Asgard."

Thor noticed a glimmer in Loki's hand. He recognised a dagger, cunningly hidden between Loki's hand and body.

" _This is madness!"_ Thor thought, mad with fear for his brother. _"What is he thinking? This is suicide, no dagger will stop Thanos!"_

But something in Loki's eyes stopped him from protesting.

" _Loki would never lead such an obvious attack … Unless … Unless … No!"_

Unless Loki did not plan to survive. Thor's heart sank as he began to understand. This was Loki's trick, his final trick. It was the moment when Loki became the hero Thor had always seen in him. He knew now what the younger God's look had meant and he felt his heart break.

" _Too late to run away now, brother."_

Loki had cheated death so many times. Death should have felt like an old friend to him. Still, Loki found that he could not bear to look at Thor, that it took every bit of strength he still possessed to concentrate on what he was doing.

"I am scared, brother", he wanted to tell Thor. "Help me not to be." But now was not the time to let Loki's one weakness show, the love for his brother that he for so long refused to admit even to himself. Loki kept his head held high, his eyes proud and strong. Even despite the fear he felt, he was still mocking Thanos. Loki had never given much thought to how he would die, so sure, so confident that when the moment came he would always manage to find a way to trick death. He was a survivor. That was how he had always seen himself. Loki heard Thor struggle against his restraints. Knowing his brother was there made him feel better. He was not alone. Loki smiled silently to himself, the sadness and fear in him subsiding for a second. Surely this was a good way to die. In the place of someone else. Someone he loved.

Loki might not be able to save himself, but he would save his brother and give Thor and his friends the chance they needed to defeat Thanos.

Loki knelt stiffly. "I hereby pledge to you my undying fidelity."

Thanos watched, amused and surprised, as if he was unsure of what to make of Loki's behaviour. Loki stayed still for a moment and steely determination sharpened his gaze. Thor started to feel nauseous from his inner tension as Loki took a deep breath. In a single fluid movement he lunged forward. The dagger flew out of his hand, straight for Thanos' exposed throat. One moment, one wild, glorious moment, Thor imagined that Loki's attack had been successful.

It was too late.

Mere inches away from his target, Loki froze in the midst of his attack in a flash of blue light. Loki's eyes widened in fear and Thor struggled against his restraints in a last desperate attempt to get to his brother. His people, Heimdall, even his parents … Their loss meant nothing. They were tragic, heart-breaking, yes, but losses he could survive. It would take centuries, maybe even thousand years, but Thor would survive, eventually. But Loki … No, not Loki, not him, not his baby brother. Loki's death would break Thor.

"Undying", Thanos mused as he twisted Loki's arm away. Even with no cards left to play, the Asgardian Prince did not lose his unwavering determination. "You should choose your words more carefully."

Thanos's fist closed around Loki's throat, lifting him into the air as if he would weigh no more than a feather. Thor screamed, he struggled and he fought to get to his brother, his baby brother who was kicking and thrashing and clawing. Quickly, Loki's face turned red, his eyes turning bloodshot, his breath coming in uneven gasps, each more strained than the last.

But Thor's restraints still would not move. Thanos' fist, powerful enough to stop the Hulk, squeezed his neck, robbing Loki of what strength he had left. His struggles slowly eased. His feet were still reaching for solid ground, his fingers were still twitching, but the tiny movements were utterly futile.

This was the end.

With his last strength, Loki locked eyes with Thanos. With his last breath and as much scorn as he could muster, Loki choked out: "You … will never be … a God!"

Irritation shortly flickered across Thanos' face. Then he smirked and tightened his grip. The sound of splintering bones pierced Thor's heart and he watched in horror as Loki went limp. His eyes were still open, forever wide and terrified even though Loki had been brave until the end.

"No! NOO!" Thor was screaming, screaming the name of his brother, his beloved baby brother whom he could not save.

But there was no one left to hear him, no one left to care.

Blinded by his tears, Thor hardly noticed Thanos turning in his direction. The Titan opened his fist, too late, far too late. Loki dropped and crumpled to the ground with a dull sound that shattered Thor's soul. As if from a great distance he heard Thanos say: "No more resurrections", as the villains left.

It was the opening of his metal restraints that made Thor move. He dragged himself forward, sobs wracking his body, cursing. The ship groaned around him, ready to explode. It did not matter. All that mattered now was Loki. All that mattered now was that Thor was at his side, that he was holding his baby brother one last time.

Loki was the only person that meant something to Thor, his brother, the person he was supposed to protect above all others, to shield him from harm like Loki had shielded him. He should not die alone, not here, not like this.

Thor held Loki in his arms, the brothers united one last time. There was no turning back. All Thor could think as he was cradling the lifeless body of his brother was: "What more could I lose?"


	2. Reunions

" _Mr. Stark? I don't feel so good. "_

" _You're all right."_

" _I don't-I don't know what's happening. I don't... Save me, save me!"_

" _I don't want to go. I don't want to go, Mr. Stark. Please. Please, I don't want to go. I don't want to go..."_

" _I'm sorry, Tony, I am sorry..."_

It seems almost strange how time appears to stand still in moments of crisis. As if the world, or what was left of it, would be collectively holding its breath. There was no sound, no light. There was no life. Tony Stark would never be able to tell how he got back from Titan to Earth. Had Nebula brought him home? Tony was positive that she had been with him when the Universe fell apart around him. Perhaps Thor had been looking for him and returned to Earth with him. When the world ended, Tony felt empty. He felt numb. There was nothing but blackness and a hollow feeling where his heart once had been. It seemed as if Tony's brain had stopped processing all emotions because his body would not be able to bear the pain, if he would start to think about how he lost what had meant most to him. Words were going through the mind of the Iron Man. Pieces of a conversation that now seemed to be an eternity ago.

" _And if you died … I feel like that's on me."_

Was it harder to die? Or harder to be the one who survived?

"Stark? Tony?" As if coming from a great distance a voice broke through the silence. The voice was female, familiar. A hand touched his cheek and brushed a strand of black hair out of his face. The gentle touch made Tony lift his head. He saw Natasha Romanoff's face, smeared with earth and dust, in front of him. This surprised Tony. The Black Widow he remembered would not touch his face like an overprotective mother. His imagination must have been playing a trick on him, which was a sign that something was not right with his head. Tony listened to the beating of his heart. It was still working, like an engine which refused to give up, even when the machine itself was already starting to break apart. He heard steps next to him and felt hands on his body, where he had been injured by Thanos.

"Is he hurt?" Tony recognised this voice, anxious and shaken as it was. Bruce Banner. Very slowly, the outside world started to come back into focus. His brain was still refusing to process the impressions Tony received, wanting to block out the pain that had turned him into this numb Iron Man statue. "I'm not sure", Natasha's voice answered. She sounded nervous. „He just keeps saying: „He's gone"". Really? Tony had not noticed he had been talking out loud. Something about Natasha's words cut through his numbness and he felt a pain so raw and sharp that it shook his whole body, made his heart stutter and left him blind and breathless. He raised his hands, as if to ward of the unwanted emotions.

"Tony!" Bruce was kneeling beside him. The scientist put a hand on Tony's shoulder. Tony flinched at the touch. "You are back on Earth!" Bruce tried to soothe him. "Everything is … Well, everything is horrible, but you are here with us. What is left of us" For the first time, Tony looked around him. Bruce and Natasha were kneeling and standing right next to him, a few steps away he saw Thor (with short hair he noticed to his surprise), leaning against a tree as if it was helping the Asgardian King to keep himself upright. Next to Thor, sitting on the ground was …

"Steve?" Tony heard himself whisper the name. His teammate, his friend, who was now … what? His enemy? Steve was here, so close that he could almost reach out and touch him. Tony could not help but feel relieved at seeing Captain America. He had survived and for one short second Tony felt less alone. His eyes started to focus on his friend. Steve looked even worse than Tony was feeling. The two years of their separation had changed him. The knight in shining armour had been replaced by a fallen angel in a dark blue suit. The blond hair was longer and messy strands were falling into his face. The beard, which Tony was sure Steve had not had the last time they met, was sticky with dried blood. Tony reached his eyes. Steve's blue eyes that had always seemed so sure and confident were empty. The optimism, his defining characteristic that had so often almost driven Tony mad was gone. There was no hope left in Steve Rogers. "Tony" Their eyes met. Steve tried and failed to smile. "It is good to see you" Bruce swallowed hard. "Wanda, Vision, Sam, T'Challa, Bucky … They're all gone", he said. Every name seemed to cause him pain. Natasha made a choking sound, as if she was trying to fight down a sob. Steve flinched when Bruce mentioned Bucky. His eyes were wet, his lashes glistening with tears he did not want to cry. Steve knew that it would take just one tear for him to completely break down. Once he would let himself cry, he would not be able to stop. Tony realised that Captain America was broken very much like he was. "We thought we'd lost you too", Thor said with a voice that had none of its former strength. Tony remembered Bruce telling him that Thanos had killed half of Asgard, including Loki. Thanos … Something in Thor's words managed to shake Tony out of his stupor and he started to laugh. Tony laughed and could not seem to stop. There were tears in his eyes and he sank down to the ground, his hands beating the earth until he could not say whether he was crying out of sheer desperation or because the situation seemed so cruelly ironic. Tony felt tears streaming down his face when he stopped laughing and started crying.

"Tony!" Bruce said and there was fear in his voice. "Tony, you need to calm down!" "Sorry!" Tony wiped his face with the sleeve of his jacket and made a sound that was half laughter half sob. "If you only knew …" He looked up and noticed Steve's eyes on him. For the first time in two years Captain America and Iron Man looked directly at each other. All the pain, all the fear and all the grief Tony had tried to shut out now came flooding over him. A wave of despair and Tony was drowning. "This must be what losing your mind feels like", he thought. But something in Steve's eyes was grounding him and giving him something to hold on to. "He is gone", Tony told him and it felt like his heart would break with every word. "Steve, Peter, Spiderman … He is gone. He died in my arms. He turned to dust while all I could do was stand by and watch!" Tony heard himself grow louder as if shouting would help to bear the pain. Peter was gone and he was here. Tony had survived to watch him die. Why? When Peter disintegrated in his arms, the fear and the pain the last thing Tony saw in the boy's eyes, he had expected to share the same fate. He had hoped to die. He had waited to follow Peter. It was almost ironic that Tony had remained to see the death of all the people he loved. He was stuck in a nightmare out of which there would be no awakening. This was Tony Stark's worst nightmare, his own personal hell.

" _I watched my friends die. You'd think that'd be as bad as it gets. Nope. That wasn't the worst part."_

" _The worst part is that you didn't."_

"How?" Tony choked out, "How could this happen, how could _I_ let this happen? Peter wasn't supposed to be there, He should have been at home, in New York, far away from the battle. He trusted me to keep him safe, to make sure that nothing would happen to him while he was with me. It was my job to protect Peter and I failed!" Tony's voice died in a muffled sob. This was too much. Peter, Thanos. So many people. So much death. And Tony had not been there to save them. Peter had believed in him. And Tony Stark, Iron Man, had failed him. Tony sank back onto the ground. Thinking about Peter felt as if the weight of the world would be crashing down on him. He could not breathe anymore. "I should have looked after him", he said weakly. "I should have saved him. I should have saved everyone." He remembered Wanda's vision, the nightmare that had now become reality.

" _You could have saved us."_

Silent sobs wracked his body. The pain was too much. Tony stayed on the ground, unable to keep talking. He could not go on. He did not want to see anymore, to hear, to feel. He was alone. And if there was one thing Tony Stark was not good at, it was being the only one left behind, knowing he had failed at his most important mission: To protect the ones he loved.

"Tony." Steve's voice was gentle and automatically made him look up. Captain America's big blue eyes were fixed on him. Tony knew that look. He knew what would follow next. "Please, no pep talk", he said with a desperate laugh and raised his hands to silence Steve. "No big words about how we are going to fix everything. I swear, when you start telling me that everything is going to be fine, I'll start screaming!" Steve surprised him by staying silent. He ran a hand over his face and remained on the ground, like Tony. As if he too would lack the power to stand up. "I know, Tony", he said softly. "I know." Tony looked at his friend and a new emotion mixed with the sadness and desperation he felt: Anger. "Do you?" he asked sharply. "Do you really?" Both men stared at each other and Tony knew that Steve too was remembering their last meeting. When Tony found out that Steve's closest friend was responsible for the death of his parents. When they had fought against each other and almost killed the other. A part of Tony wanted to attack Steve now, to blame him for the breaking up of the Avengers and for the last two years during which they had been separated. But something in Captain America's face kept him from provoking another argument. Steve seemed … tired. He seemed defeated. And a defeated Steve Rogers was frightening to look at. "Yes, Tony", he said simply. "I know." This, Tony realised, was Steve's worst nightmare too, his own worst case scenario. Somehow the words made it final. It was over.

Tony closed his eyes, like a child trying to shut out the darkness. "We lost", he said, his voice lifeless. "Our friends, our family, the Earth … We lost everything." Steve stayed silent and Tony was grateful for it. There was nothing he could have said, nothing he could have done to make their hopeless situation better. For a moment, none of the surviving Avengers said a word. Silence surrounded them, as if Earth itself would have stopped spinning. Maybe it had, Tony thought.

It was Thor who first broke the silence. "We should move", he said, stepping away from the tree. "Thanos is still out there somewhere. We must find him. We must stop him before he returns." Natasha and Bruce did start to move. Tony and Steve stayed on the ground. "Why?" Tony asked weakly. Again he felt this urge to laugh, to laugh about something that was so terrible that his mind still had trouble processing it. "We lost, Thor", he said, every word like a stab to the heart. "It's over. Thanos has won. We don't even know where he is. There is nothing left of the Avengers. What more can we do now?" Tony knew that he sounded pathetic but he did not care. He felt pathetic.

Thor made a step towards Tony. "My brother is dead", he said and Tony could hear the pain that he felt mirrored in the god's voice. "Loki died so we could live to fight Thanos. I will not let his sacrifice be for nothing." Tony shook his head. "Wake up, Point Break!" he said sharply. "The battle is over! Loki is dead and he was just one of many who died today. There is nothing we can do to change that. The only thing left for us is to die too and follow them." This was what Tony wanted. To be by Peter's side as he should have been from the very beginning. He had to think about the boy's aunt. Was May still alive? What on earth was Tony going to say to her? That he failed to protect her nephew? That Tony had not been there for him when Peter needed him? No, he would rather die now. Die now and end all this horror and sadness. And feel nothing.

 _Last night I dreamt we had a kid. So real. I had a dream about it. It was so real._

Tony remembered his last conversation with Pepper. He never saw himself as a father, until Peter came into his life. And now he had experienced a father's worst nightmare. To watch his child, his son, die in his arm. He never told Peter how proud of him he was. That he was the son he always wanted to have without even knowing it. And now it was too late.

Steve moved beside him. "Thor is right", he said. He sounded calm. "We all lost today", Steve continued. "But Thanos is still alive and so are we. The question now is whether the death of Peter, of Bucky, of Loki, the death of all the others was for nothing or not." Tony laughed and ignored Steve's irritated stare. "God, how I've always hated your pep talks!" he managed to say. "Look around you, we're defeated, Capsicle, can't you see that?! What do you suggest we'd do now? Wat could possibly make this any better?" Steve remained silent as Tony yelled. Wise of him. Tony could feel that he was this close to losing it. One more word and he would snap and cross a line from which there would be no coming back.

"What are we supposed to do, Tony?" asked Steve. It sounded sad but Tony could hear the conviction in his words. "Surrender is not in my nature." The blue eyes fixed on Tony's face. „And I don't think it's in yours either" Tony shook his head. He did not want to hear this. He was about to think of a very hurtful and possibly very destructive response when Steve surprised him. Steve Rogers gently took his hand. Tony looked up, speechless, as the older man's fingers curled around his. He looked into Steve's face and felt as if he would see not Captain America, but Steve, "the little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight." "We need you, Tony", Steve said softly. "I need you. Not Iron Man but Tony Stark, the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist" Tony felt something stir inside him as he remembered their conversation from long ago. He was left speechless by Steve's openness. He was not someone who liked to talk about his feelings, Tony knew that. That was one thing the two men had in common. Tony thought about the letter Steve had written him, after he had left him two years ago.

" _No matter what, I promise you, if you need us … if you need me … I'll be there."_

"We cannot win. How are you planning on beating Thanos? On beating … this?" Tony wanted to know. Steve's eyes hardened to an icy blue. "Together", he said calmly. Tony smiled unhappily. "We'll lose" Steve nodded, admitting that Tony was right, that this was a fight they could not win. The battle against Thanos had been lost before it even had begun. But that did not matter anymore. "Then we'll do that together too!" Steve said, his voice strong and firm. But his eyes, Tony saw, were wet, his lashes glistening with tears. "So much has happened, Tony", Steve said and it sounded sad. "We made so many mistakes. We did something wrong, I did something wrong." Tony was taken aback at the self-hatred he could hear in Steve's voice. "I failed!" he said bitterly. "I've always wanted to do what was right, so sure that I had everything under control. I was blind …And now innocent people paid with their lives for my mistakes. So many people … Our friends …" He buried his face in his hands. Steve's eyes were red and his hands were shaking. He was desperately trying to keep himself from falling apart, just like Tony was. Steve took a shaky breath.

"It wasn't worth it", Tony whispered. "This thing between us … Our Civil war." His hatred, his grief and his disappointment over Steve and their violent separation had disappeared a long time ago. What did past arguments matter now? "You are right", Steve replied. "What happened between us is in the past. Now the only thing that matters is to save what is left from our world." Tony laughed a hollow sound. "You are driving me crazy, Steven!" he said. He noticed Steve's eyes sparkle when he used his full name. This would have probably made some impression on Tony if their situation would not be so bleak. "What do you expect me to do?" he asked weakly. "I'm exhausted, Steve. I can't … I can't go on." It was the truth. It took all of Tony's energy to keep himself upright. He was tired. So, so tired …

Steve gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I know", he said softly. "Tony, I know you're tired. We lost love. We lost loved ones. We lost because we were divided." He paused for a moment. "But this time will be different", he continued. "It will be different because I will be by your side." Steve looked around him, at Bruce, Natasha and Thor. "We are the Avengers. We stay together. Until the end." Tony looked at Steve and for a moment it seemed as if the rest of the world had disappeared, as if it would be just Tony and Steve without Natasha, Bruce and Thor standing next to them. "If I'm the only one then so be it", Steve added and tried to smile. His voice trembled. "I don't know how, Tony, but I promise you, we will save them. Peter, Bucky, Wanda … We will save them all. We'll make this all alright again. But without you, Tony, it's going to be a lot harder." Tony made a choking sound at this. His head sank forward against Steve's shoulder and his hand grabbed the other men's arm, as if he would be falling and Steve was catching him. Tony took in his earthy smell and felt oddly grateful when Steve put an arm around his back and brought them closer together, as if he too would need the contact between them. Steve's beard scratched against his cheek. For a minute, the men remained in their embrace. "What if we can't fix everything this time?" Tony asked against Steve's shoulder. Their eyes met. "Then we'll do just what you said", Steve replied. "If we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it!" Tony smiled weakly. "Language", he tried to joke. The corners of Steve's mouth twitched. "Just quoting a friend" "The beard and the hair you obviously got from Thor", Tony noticed. Steve smiled the first full smile Tony had seen since their reunion. Almost automatically he smiled back. Steve opened his mouth and Tony knew that he would apologise for his mistakes in the past, for not telling Tony the truth about the death of his parents, for leaving him alone. And suddenly he found he did not need to hear it anymore. "Just be quiet, Steve", he said. Steve rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Suddenly it did not matter anymore what had happened between them in the past. Their fight did not matter, it did not matter that they had tried to kill each other the last time they had met or that they had not seen each other in two years. They belonged together. They were friends, brothers. Tony and Steve, Steve and Tony. Together they would do everything in their power to save their friends, their families and half of the universe besides. Or they would die trying, fighting side by side until the end. Iron Man and Captain America would not be parted again. Whatever fate awaited them, it would find them together. Tony was lost without Steve, without the Avengers. And he knew in his heart that Steve too was lost without him.

"So", Thor's voice ended the moment between them. "What is the plan? If I am to die it might as well be driving Stormbreaker through the heart of this psychopathic Titan." He raised his weapon menacingly. Steve slowly started to stand up, pulling Tony with him. "We will find Thanos and fight him, together", he replied. "No tricks, no plans, just an attack with all the power we have. "Using all of the Infinity Stones has damaged the gauntlet and it has weakened Thanos himself", Bruce mentioned. "He is vulnerable." Tony suddenly remembered Dr. Strange's last words. He had forgotten them, numbed by the shock of losing Peter and realising they had lost, but now it all came back. Tony's brain was starting to work again. With Steve by his side he could breathe and think, as if he would be waking up from a coma.

"Tony … There was no other way", Strange had told him. "We're in the endgame now." "Stephen Strange has given Thanos the time stone", Tony said slowly. "I did not understand why he would do that at the time. I thought he tried to protect Peter and me. But now I think that Strange had a plan." The master of the mystic arts was not stupid. Strange had been able to see into the future and try to find a way how they could defeat Thanos. He had seen 14 million and 605 possible outcomes of their fight. There had been one future, where they had won. Stephen Strange had known exactly what he was doing. All the Avengers had to do now was to bring about this future he had seen. Tony looked at Steve and the rest of his friends and for the first time he felt something like hope. The corners of his mouth twitched. "I think I have a plan", Tony said. He turned to Steve. "You'll need your shield". Steve smiled weakly. "I don't have it anymore, remember?" Tony felt guilty when he thought back to his hard words.

" _That shield doesn't belong to you. You don't deserve it! My father made that shield!"_

Steve had given up the shield and he had given up being Captain America. Tony had hated him, almost as if Steve himself would have killed his parents and not a brainwashed Bucky Barnes. But Barnes was dead and their fight was irrelevant now. Tony grinned sheepishly. "The shield still belongs to you", he told Steve. "It was never mine to give away. I held on to it in case you might need it again someday." At Tony's words, Steve's blue eyes brightened up and he looked again like the young, shining Captain America who had fought side by side with Iron Man. "Thank you, Tony!" he said, his blue eyes shining with a multitude of different emotions. Tony nodded. He felt life coming back into him and Bruce, Thor and Natasha seemed to stand more erect too, looking more confident. Their fighting spirit had returned. It was comforting to know that Tony was not alone. Steve was with him and they would fight and die together. Either they would defeat Thanos and bring back their lost friends or they would follow them. Either way, Tony would see Peter again. He would not be alone. Steve would be by his side.

Next to him, Captain America looked at his team. "Avengers!" he called. Thor, Natasha and Bruce stepped closer. Tony heard the rustling of leaves and saw Rhodey, Nebula and … was that a racoon?! appear from behind a tree. Steve's voice was strong and firm. „Assemble!"


End file.
